Whatever

I’m battling a bit of depression. Actually, I’m tolerating it well enough; it’s not really a battle. Just kinda bored and apathetic and vaguely lonely, but not wanting to be around anybody. Work feels tedious. I’m in a new small group from church; we meet weekly, but I have yet to feel as though I really belong–and so far I’m okay with that. I’ve done a bit of “retail therapy,” buying a few bits of clothing and shoes to keep me current. It’s mildly fascinating but mostly just weird. I go through all the expected and responsible motions, but really I’m just waiting for God to FINALLY set the Earth on fire or some such. I’ve been playing the piano some, finding songs that I like to sing and downloading the sheet music–technology is quite a marvel for keeping oneself amused with as little effort as possible. I make up for the inertia by riding my stationary bike for 30 minutes each morning and doing chin-ups in my basement. When Kingdom comes, I’m going to have a resting heart rate of 48 and beautiful biceps.